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Valerie McCarney
 

Title of Work:     A Place to Nest
Medium:             Charcoal
Date Created:     September 2010

I see my daughter and her husband standing outside a huge , gnarled tree, with all kinds of openings to get in it. Than I am walking inside an old dirty barn with my daughter and her husband. They are looking for a place to nest, the baby is coming. I say to them ,why are you looking to have the baby in this old barn ? They say , it is not a barn but a tree , the tree of life and we are looking for a place to nest. They say they will know the place b/c it will have a cradle in it. I look around and see that it is indeed the inside of a tree and I feel better about it. The tree is even larger on the inside than it looks on the outside. I say to myself, this will be a safe place for them to have the baby. It is getting dark out. I wake up wondering if the baby will be born at night.  


Title of Work:     Dad and the Indian
Medium:             Pencil, Watercolor and Pastel
Date Created:     July 2010

In reality, the last days of my father's life, were spent in a nursing home and than hospice care.  I have recently being going through the many sketchbooks that I kept during that time and found this story.  He was a vivid dreamer. He would talk in his sleep and I would write it down. He talked a lot of an Indian. Than he started to see that same Indian in waking reality.  I asked him if he had seen an Indian doctor that day. No, not that kind of Indian , he'd say. So I googled various Native faces and brought the pix of them into him. Yes, this is the one, as I showed him an Aboriginal face. That is the person that is here in this room. I found that interesting because I don't ever even think he knew about the aboriginal culture or thought of it. But here it was. He was seeing lot of people who have passed , which I knew as normal, for people as they get close to death. Than one day, he held up his hand and started to point between the fingers and naming all the people in our family who have passed away. That night when I returned to my sisters, I told her about it. She said , well maybe he is disorientated. I thought , well maybe but it did not feel right to me. I went up to bed and started to read, "The Tracks in the Wilderness of Dreaming" by Robert Bosnak , on page 6 , he talks of the Aboriginal healer, who describes flying to the Milky Way" Then he reaches the place in the milky way that is like a hand. There the dead ngankaris are. He draws a hand in the sand". The thought of being connected to all the dreaming cultures, when we allow ourselves to be , or in the end of our lives when our defenses are down, seemed profound. This showed me once again the power of dreams to heal and to transform you. I am sure when my father  passed over the Indian was with him.


Title of Work:     Last Night I Dreamt of the Ballet
Medium:             Acrylic
Date Created:     March 2010

I am walking in the forest at dusk. I see light ahead of me and realize I am at a local performing arts center in my hometown. I start to hear people and instruments tuning up. Now it is pitch black outside, there are no lights except for the stage. I sit down on a hill, it is now silent. Then I hear classical music, its beautiful and I closed my eyes. I feel the warm summer breeze on my face. The audience cheers and I open my eyes. From one side of the stage comes a ballerina and from the other side comes a large bird. I watch as they mirror each others movements. I am amazed and say , wow, how did they train that bird? The person near me, who I only hear because it is so dark out, says, where have you been, the birds on the endangered list have been dancing for years. I wonder, why I did not know this, I watch the National Geographic station. I turn to look at the stage as they strike a pose. I say to myself, I will have to remember this, so I can paint it one day.


Title of Work:     Face in a Bottle
Medium:             Acrylic
Date Created:     April 2010

As I fall to sleep in that area between waking and sleeping, I see undulating lime green and purple paint moving about like a lava lamp. From far away a face starts to move forward, closer and closer. She is only a head inside a large lava lamp, dead eyes. A Gibson girl gone bad, or a Toulouse-Lautrec model ? I am looking at her thinking, she has had a hard life but still takes the time to put up her hair. Things do get better she says. Yet, why didn't I believe that in my time ? Believe that things will get better, know it ,feel it, know, it feel it..over and over, as she faded and the words kept repeating. 


Title of Work:     Reborn and Healed
Medium:             Pastel
Date Created:     April 2010

(In reality I am at a Robert Moss Dream weekend and one of the dreamers has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Our first night Robert instructs us to set an intention of a dream healing for her.)

Dream Text: I am in the forest, where I see the dreamer , her husband and child walking ahead of me. They are allowing the energy and life of the forest to heal her . I stop to allow them to have their space and when I do I look over and see an Easter lily. It is beautiful, pure, white and as I look at it I see the dreamer coming out of it , smiling, arms outstretched, renewed, reborn and healed




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